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Ichabod!

08 October 2005 13:33

i wrote an entry in another blog of mine a little bit ago commenting on what a lazy day its been since i stayed in bed late, and ive been sitting in front of the computer since i got up. but not long after i wrote that, i realized that its not a lazy day at all. i stayed in bed late and have been glued to this chair not becuase im lazy, no, in fact i have all sorts of things i want to do today. its because im nearly paralyzed by tension.

my body is tense because ive traded my yoga for cardio and circuit training, since those are actually more convenient now that fitness center staff comes to the school once a week. and i make a point of going to the fitness center to use the eliptical machines after the ever so stressful staff meetings on monday. with the onset of those, my afternoon yoga has kind of faded away. and ill admit that these new activities do feel great, but they dont bring the same peace of body and mind as yoga does.

my mind is tense because....well, why? residual tension from the stress of math boot camp week? the stress of this past week being planned and prepped day by day instead of being ready for the week by sunday evening? im not sure. but i have a significantly less stressful week ahead of me. the quarter ends on wednesday, and we have standardized testing mon thru wed so all of the grades for the quarter are pretty much set. i wont have to worry about disciplining the seventh and eighth grades this week. and while theyre bubbling stuff in, i can get a lot of stuff done for myself like education courses and planning activity centers for the next week/month/quarter.

there is the tension from people around me. the secretarys husband, the first grade teacher leaving to help her daughter, another colleagues father is terminal.

im sure my flatmate is wondering. every time shes walked in and out of her room today ive been sitting in this same chair tapping away at my keyboard. morning into afternoon. brow furrowed. no surprise that im feeling withdrawn if im acting so withdrawn. there are lots of things i could do to relieve some of the tension, im sure. play guitar, sing, play with the meows, yoga, meditate, call someone and talk to them. theres just the problem of hurdling the initial internal inertial barrier.