care? leave a note

Ichabod!

30 March 2004 20:37

i resolved to finally do something about pms/pmdd for these three reasons:

because it was destructive to myself

because it was destructive to my relationships with friends

because in my head it is now natural to think of myself as separate from depression, something i couldnt even imagine doing until this past summer.

this time, when the episode was over, i didnt look back and say, well, that was constructive cause at least i learned this, or i was forced to think about this. instead i looked back and saw, god, that was dangerously destructive.

i felt out of control. even the doctor referred to being depressed as feeling out of control of ones actions.

so now that im on lexapro, does that make me free? or does it only enslave me to a drug? which is a worse master, depression or the drug? i guess thats what it really comes down to.

lexapro. im taking an antidepressant instead of a low dose oral contraceptive because they dont always work and i cant make a gamble on that now with the end of the semester coming up. however, from a practical standpoint, it would be nice if i could just take an oral contraceptive, cause then it would even out my moodswings AND give me clearer skin! heheh.