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Ichabod!

23 December 2003 12:29

im going to spare all of you and not tell you about my grades this semester. mostly because it makes me sick to read about every other college students grades in their online journal. no need to thank me.

instead ill write more about how much i do/dont like staying at home.

sleeping on the floor is not as bad as it sounds. in fact, its one of the best parts of staying here. and mom finally got the hot water heater hooked up. woooo!

but yesterday, i cooked dinner for mommy again, and she came home all stressed. and now i know how housewives feel, making a nice meal and all and then not feeling like your husband is at all happy to see you when he gets home. and you know its prolly just cause hes tired, but youre happy to see him. cant he smile a bit?

my mom came home and instead of thanking me for having dinner ready or anything, she stressed about the mail and started inspecting the receipt for the grocery shopping i did today. i just got this sinking feeling in my stomach that she was going to find fault with something i did, even though i didnt think i had done anything wrong. yeah, that familiar sinking feeling that i had perpetually for years after mom and dad separated, cause nothing i did seemed good enough. shit. so thats a bad part about coming home. and i dont want to talk about that anymore.

i wanted to write last night, but the tv was on. the tv really does seem to drain all intelligence from its immediate surroundings, especially when its on the style channel, or lifetime, or hgtv. i just went to bed early instead. i cant concentrate when the tv is on.

now i cant concentrate for another reason. why does the trans siberian orchestra suck so much? how is it that i can listen to electronica or john cage or stimmung or meredith monk, stuff that other people find absolutely mind numbing, but i would rather pull out my own teeth than listen to the trans siberian orchestra? if i find out why the trans siberian orchestra sucks so much, will i learn the secrets of the universe? how is it unfair that i put the cd player on random with 4 of my moms cds in it (including trans siberian orchestra) and one radiohead cd, and she freaks out when the first radiohead song comes on? how is it unfair that for every song i like, four songs that she likes will be played? how?