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Ichabod!

04 November 2003 23:47

so, i guess, in my mind, this entry picks up where i left off last night writing in my paper journal, before i fell asleep.

last night last evening felt like forever. i spent so long on the phone, so much longer than i ever ever do. but i came up with a few things. further modified by sleep thoughts as i wrote. i will say for another iteration, that notre dame suffers from a cultural vacuum. but i am also at fault for sitting back and expecting everything to just kind of fall into place for me, in terms of feeling fulfilled. i need to put effort into it too. i need to change my attitude. if i want to feel fulfilled, i need to do fulfilling things and not just "keep busy" and escape what i really need.

so how do i do that? dang. tough.

i can put more into my friendships here.

i can do more yoga. be more creative. draw and write poetry like ive had a yearning to do.

i can extend myself a little more. strange that last semester, i had the opposite problem. i had extended myself in a destructive manner, trying to control things which were beyond me. but poetry brought me back to center.

i have all of these books of poetry here. i need to read them more often.

hmph. who knows if my thoughts are even along a fruitful and productive track. i dunno. im kinda confused. but at least i dont feel stagnant any longer.