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 memories of what never was
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21 July 2003 22:53 yoga felt a lot different today. my posture was a lot better and more stable in mountain pose, and i didnt have to concentrate so much on aligning my hips in the lunges. i did lose stability on some of the balancing poses esp on my right side, and i let my mind wander during the hip opening poses since those are pretty easy for me. and once i let my mind wander its so hard to get it back. i ended up dozing off during relaxation, and i got focused again for the meditation. i had some more thoughts about the whole faith in other people thing but i forgot a lot of them. hanging out with pat and meg brings out the joyful bitch in me, that part of me that loves to snigger at other people. and when i get into it, i really like it too. but it doesnt help the whole faith in other people issue. ah, i remember. i was sitting behind the noncomputer desk in the lab. and i was thinking about how maybe, rationally speaking, it doesnt matter if i have faith in god because it wont be confirmed or denied either way. but being such a rational, and constantly seeing evidence of how people abuse and betray each other every day, its much easier to feel "right" in not having faith in people. and perhaps even making is easier to have faith in god cause, well, were sinful people and god is god. but i still feel it is likely that this rationalist perspective came from years and years of experience, where the feeling of god has been constant and people have been jerks. |
