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Ichabod!

2002-07-07 1:36 a.m.

im too tired to coherently write anything new right now, so heres that thing from a while back i promised.

and i think that somteimes when youre young, youre more apt to say "i love you" when you mean "gee, you make me feel good" like how we say we love pizza because it makes us happy. and when we hear i love you, it sometimes means something more like "i am something cute and lovable, ive done something deserving of love, ive done something to make them happy" and what i find wrong with these ideas is the dependence on a feeling of pleasure or happiness...or even using it to express a feeling of unexplained connection or connectedness...that is essentially self centered ((i may be exaggerating, of course))

what i would rather express by saying i love you is that wish to care for you, your well being, including your happiness. not to say, i feel good and attribute that feeling to you, but i do love you, and i will love you, and i would do anything for you. active, not passive. love is something you do, not something that happens to you. to say loving you makes me happy, not i love you how make feel good. or, worse yet, i love how good you make me feel. now that is self centered.

when i say i love you, i want to put my faith behind people not feelings or words.

and when i say you sucked my brain out / the english translation / is i am in love with you / and it is no fun / but i dont use words like love / cause words like that dont matter / but dont look so offended / you know you should be flattered.