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Ichabod!

2002-02-11 1:13 a.m.

something i was talking about here last night is still bugging me, especially after talking with kathryn this morning.

it was really scary to realize that booty had me pinned like that last night. i mean, i dont consider myself a weak girl. if i took on some girls, i could beat them down for sure. and i could shove ross and dan around pretty well too, but they weigh less than i do. so this is what its like to be a woman. just any guy can hold you down and do what he wants...just because hes bigger than you. especially on a campus where alcohol is so prevalent. and that thought is really scary. i like to believe that one of the reasons i couldnt get booty off of me last night was because i wasnt extremely frightened, i didnt feel i was in real danger cause amanda and silent bob were around, and i didnt really want to hurt booty. i like to think that if i were in a situation where i was truly scared and fighting for my life i would be able to do more damage...but what if its a bigger guy? even booty was more difficult to move than i antcipated, and hes not all that big. then there are even more concerns like date rape drugs or if i get drunk sometime, then i definitely wont be able to fight back. i know that, becuase i can remember what ross did once in high school. and similar stories ive heard from other girls.

its frightening. is this really what it is to be a woman and live with this kind of fear or anxiety? what kind of world is this where half a population has to worry like this? what can we do about it?

me and a gun and a man on my back and i havent seen barbados so i must get out of this