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 memories of what never was
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2000-12-24 06:16:56 how my day was extraordinary today. i saw lil' rob! except hes not so little anymore, and he recognized me! and he smiled! it took me a while to remember who he was, but my PAL kids remember me! i made an impact in the lives of those ten precious freshmen. this makes me feel so purposeful and fulfilled! i never thought i could really make it as a PAL leader, i always felt so out of sync with the rest of the leaders when i started. so many of my experiences were so different from theirs. and i had so many problems of my own, i never really thought i could be a useful resource for others, as a listener. i was still in therapy while i was a PAL leader. but i did it! i can do it! im sane enough to feel like i can help other people now! DTTyszka: Hey... and I appreciate the listening role... thanks. EJM ankh: no problem, really. anytime. DTTyszka: thanks... :-) and i can do the same thing now, too. even today, people will talk to me and i can listen. im still amazed when people open up to me, and im amazed at myself that i can recognize whats happening and do my best as an active listener. self-awarness, self-delusion. . . theres some stuff about that in "the promise," im almost finished, ive been reading almost all day. i really have gotten a lot more out of it this reading than i did all those years ago. i dont even remember how old i was when i first read it, it was either after i read "the chosen" in eighth grade or after i read it again for mr casey sophomore year. . . im leaning towards after eighth grade. i had more to say, but i think i said most of it in emails to people. . . and my shoulders hurt. my mom told me to go to bed. so i think i will. |
