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Ichabod!

2000-02-18 18:41:31

if he made the appointment without telling me, i could have been equally direspectful and canceled it without telling him. but back to my old adage, just because theyre being a jerk doesnt mean i have to or can be one too.

i figured it out what it is about being 18. just like when i turned fifteen, somehow it felt different. 15 made me feel like i was a real teenager, not just a freshman or a little 14 year old any more. now that im 18, i feellike im supposed to be responsible and adult now. but its only another day, im not really all that different. the reasons for the feelings at 15 and 18 are the same. trying to match what society tells me 15 or 18 is, instead of being my own 18 year old. im telling ya, after 18 years of brainwashing, its kind of hard to break that. as for the years in between, 16 was just depressing and at 17, i seemed to wake up one morning with a terrific sense of fashion.

ive been thinking about getting my hair permed. both my mom and i love it when i french braid my hair overnight and wear it wavy the next day. ((scary when my mom and i agree on stuff like that, a sure sign of impending maturity. its been happening a lot this year. but i know that some things i wear she really doesnt like, shes just accepted some of my differences and calls it unconditional love)) anyway, ive tried looking through mags to find pics of other girls with the same type of curly hair, so i know what to show the stylist. but looking through teen people 'zine ((im so disgusted that i bought something with n'sync on the cover, but hey, its got an article on drinking for my PAL group)) i realized that all of the girls had blown dry stick straight hair. its kind of scary that i have no pics to work off of, but nice to know im not following a trend. but you know, as soon as i get it done, the pendelum will swing back and every model you see will have touseled wavy hair. just like mine.

but i sure dont want to walk in their and say "make my hair curly." i remember what happened when my mom said, give her some texture around her face. i came out of there with bangs and i hated it. i never asked for bangs, i thought i was just getting a trim. for reasons like that, i hate hair dressers, especially the one my mom goes to. she has old lady classic conservative style, or friends chunky bob style. i know because she does my classmates hair. so what i need to do is strut in and say, youre not laying a finger on my precious hair until ive got this straight. give me the low down on perms, all types. show me pictures, the good ones and the horror stories. let me tell you what ive got in mind. dont use terms like texture when im never sure what the hell thats supposed to mean. then ill think about it and then MAYBE ill come back and let you do my hair." thats what ill say.

ive actually cried in the hair dressers before because i didnt want to change my hair at all. id see styles that i liked, but id be so upset to find out you need to use stupid stuff like gel or pomade or curlings irons or god forbid, hair spray. right now i just use spray on conditioner, and id like it if i got a perm and just had to use some curl booster or curl control stuff. but nothing that actually takes time to style. i know, i ask for a lot. impossibilities. i want it all. i want to look ultimately hip and live the life of nature girl, spending 2 minutes max on my looks, and minimal "product."

i dont like using the general word product in terms of something you put on your head. product build up, a dab of product, apply product, do not wash out product.

this is the kind of entry you get when you let me read jump magazine. ((and for those of you who dont know me, i have medium brown straight hair, about 18-24 inches long))