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Ichabod!

2000-02-28 02:10:23

ahhhhhh. . ..to be back and writing. to be out from under the slave driver. to be awake at 1:39 in the morning, listening to my mothers gentle snores.

i often wonder whats going to happend to arvianna at diaryland if for some reason the whole web site is no longer or i decide i dont want an online diary any longer. what happens to all the lovely things ive documented on here? hmmm?

this morning on this american life it was about interacial couples. it made me think about jon. my little short lived love bug with . ..was he black? was he something else? he swept me up off my feet and i jumped back off the cliff, down to, well, home. safety. he wanted to show me love, he was a poet, he was too intense for me. he had the nerve to call me rational and predictable. he was sexy, he the poet in the body of a football player, he the rambler with the short curly hair. he said he was originally attracted to me because i showed intensity, for my science. sitting in those horrible hotel chairs on opposite sides of the tv. he called me fair ophelia, he truly made me feel like a princess from another world.

the only other time i ever felt like a princess from another world was dipping my toes in the creek with ryan, with the sun on my face and the breeze in my hair.

i really dont feel like living in the present. except maybe when im out with friends or at the science center. then the reason why i dont want to live in the past then is obvious, to me at least.