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 memories of what never was
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14 June 2004 15:03 lately, ive been re-reading the books i read when i was much younger, the books that really inspired me and shaped the way i thought about myself and the world. trying to recapture some of my old hope and optimism. books like many waters, wise child, and juniper. i guess maybe its working, because i looked at my cat this morning and said, oh you're so beautiful! this morning i got up early to try to go to a yoga class but i managed not to find it somehow. then i went back to sleep for a long time, and got up and made coffee and pancakes. mmm. yesterday, i felt like coffee was the only reason i had to get up in the morning. yesterday i felt like small physical pleasures like the taste of hazelnut, or the smell of jasmine blossom tea were the only things good enough to get me out of bed any more. im not sure if thats a good sign or not. prolly not. shouldnt there be more to live for than coffee? i used to have more than that, and coffee and tea were just small celebrations of all the other good things. they werent always the only good things. more strange dreams. very very strange dreams. i really think i need a dreamcatcher. many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it. |
