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Ichabod!

26 April 2004 16:12

it doesnt seem fair somehow that life is so easy and beautiful for other people, and i have to work so hard just to keep myself in a state of mind where i dont want to kill myself.

and because it doesnt seem fair, i find myself getting resentful at those people. and being resentful because someone else is happy just confirms prior suspicions that i am a Bad Person.

and then, i cant tell this to anyone, especially those people who seem really happy, cause i would just be doing it with the intent of making them feel badly about being so happy while im so miserable. which would just make me an Even Worse Person.

i can get away with spewing that here cause its not directed at any stupidly happy people. these be my thoughts, and damn you for reading them.

or maybe it really is fair, cause its my own fault that im so unhappy. im just a whiny lazy bitch, and i get what i deserve.

::sighs::

summary: either way, i suck.