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Ichabod!

2003-04-29 11:49 a.m.

i took some time this morning to read over some arvianna entries from last summer. and i can see that the way i think has changed, or is different somehow. what effect has the city had on me? is life in the city responsible for these changes? can i even pinpoint what these changes are? i feel like the thoughts are more shallow and less shallow at the same time, perhaps just about different things. being in a familiar environment again, maybe that will help me reflect and evaluate some things.

even looking back at two entries ago (btw, im over four hundred entries now!) im a bit embarrassed by what i wrote, cause i dont quite feel the same way now. i want to just attribute it to the bell jar, again and again.

things continue to go well. i have made a list of all the academic type things i have left to do this semester, and it is manageable. i watched a sort of gorgeous sunset in reverse yesterday evening, sitting in the study flat looking out an eastward window. instead of watching the actual sun set, i watched the shadows creep higher and higher over the buildings and the church spires, and everything change from pink to purple to blue. i was also in the mood to cook yesterday so i made a huge pot of chili and bought some corona at safeway, cause they finally have it back in stock, and still on sale.

yeah, only when i get back to the usa will i be able to accurately evalaute the effect city life has had on me. and im really curious to find out, cause i just keep remembering my impression when touring upenns campus that "i can see myself getting very depressed here." was that a fair diagnosis or not wrt the city?