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Ichabod!

2002-10-29 12:54 a.m.

taking a break in the unix lab from working on physics down the hall. on the upswing again, which is good. saw my ta from one of many classes in which i neglected to turn in hw last week, and he actually offered to say he lost it to excuse its lateness if i hand it in tonight or tomorrow morning...so im staying up to do it. on the upswing again. no more no-can-do attitude, i feel like i can take on the world once again. its so freaking bizarre. two weeks ago, i could barely get out of bed, was headachey, couldnt concentrate, no motivation whatsoever. now im staying up late to finish an assignment. and im disappointed in myself for not doing my work last week, cause i have to wonder if i could have overcome all the down feelings if i had pushed myself and actually gotten work done, or if i would have only gotten more and more distressed and frustrated and made it worse myself. no matter now, my gpa will prolly suffer for the choices ive made.

florida was fantastic. time to think about myself, time to learn about others. many hours of big question little question. so strange that this is the first big overnight trip for both the freshmen and the sophomores, since we didnt go anywhere last year. so much bonding and catching up to do. luckily for me, and everyone else around me, it was over before i got really really sick of it. but mostly im pleased with the relationships that were formed and the way that listening to others and talking to kelly and elise helped me answer some questions about myself. questions about myself that had been posed right before break started, and i had written half an entry on meditation in here before it got messed up on trying to clear my mind and stop avoiding some of these uncomfortable questions about myself.

ok, so only one question got answered on break. the other im still avoiding. but my point was that now i dont need to complete that previously lost entry, except that it started out with a cool anecdote about meditation from my childhood that ill hopefully post here sometime or another.

on the upswing.