care? leave a note

Ichabod!

2002-09-13 1:27 a.m.

i need to stop ending each day with a feeling of dissatisfaction. i just looked at the clock thingy on my aim profile and it tells me ive been up for about 16 hours. yes, i turn it on when i wake up in the morning. so thats pretty much a full day. and my first thought looking at that was "another sixteen hours gone by with so little accomplished" then i kicked myself becuase i know thats not true. i finished writing two letters this morning. i went to class, two classes. the second of which is great because the discussion format make 75 minutes go by so much faster than being lectured at. barabasi rules! twas a good day socially. walking back with kelly, emode tests with carrie, and chillin with kellykarldavedon etc in lafun tonight. band was productive, we got our show done for the week. homework was productive too. pleasant hours spent with my coffee in starbucks, and i even got one problem right all on my own without looking at the answer in the back and solving backwards. yeah! so i need to stop thinking about all i didnt get done today, and think about all that i did do. the good things ive done, the smiles ive spread, the things ive learned. how ive grown.

and then what ive been tossing around in my head for a number of weeks now until i found time to sit down and actually write about it in here. now that im a junior i can really feel the desire to take a leadership role and change things around here. its like the first two years i spent just observing and watching and learning how things are in the normal status quo. now the next two years are for me to take everything ive observed and improve upon it. its especially evident i think working with sps. and this solves the previous dilemma i had that i dont remember whether i wrote about it in here or not...but the first week i was back i was feeling very jaded or blase. like ive studied in every possible study spot, ate every possible dinner in the dining hall, seen every face there is to see, and done everything there is to do. but i knew that couldnt be true. there are places i havent been. there are books i havent read. there are people i havent met and clubs i havent been a part of. and there are things that i will never ever get to see or do. but instead of lamenting my boredom or initiating a hopeless quest to actually do everything, i can concentrate my energy on changing and improving the things that i do know about, the things that i have seen and experienced. i can contribute from what ive learned and form those who are just now learning. how exciting is that?