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Ichabod!

2002-05-29 10:04 p.m.

im really very sorry that i havent updated at all recently. its not becuase i dont want to, but simply because i dont have the time. since i have an internet connection at work, ive taken to checking my mail there instead of at home and i cant take twenty to thirty minutes out of my day at work to write an entry in here..though i wish i could, i dont have nearly enough to do at work. then when i come home ive got places to go and people to see. i havent not gone out one night since ive been home i think, im either out with my friends or to zany brainy or to see my dad, like tonight. then i get home and im way to tired to even write in my paper journal, let alone get online to write in here. and i hate it. becuase more than anything else right now i think i need time to reflect. on everything. and of course, im reading the very though provoking book that jesse lent me, increasing my need to just reflect but at the same time reducing my time to reflect because every spare moment i have is dedicated to reading.

and im getting very short with my mom and im not sure why. part of it is becuase she demands to know every little thing about my dinner with my dad tonight, and i hate when she gets obsessive about that. esp since he just got a truck and a trailer (for heavens sake!) and im getting the van soon. sunday or monday.

i think the tv is my mortal enemy.

i think theres another reason somehow that im getting snippy with her but i cant think of what it might be. as if it isnt bad enough that shes unhealthily obsessed with appearances and makes my lunch hours miserable with weightwatchers tv dinners and salads. all that work i did last summer to clean out the pantry and the refrigerator and try to get real food in to them....and now the only food in the house is microwave dinners. i have no appetite at all when i think about that stuff. ::sighs::

i got along with my dad and thyra much better than usual tonight. and im not sure why. everythings changing and i have no time to think and reflect. a sure recipie for mental breakdown. (i meant as is) now im just tired. i dont want to go into the office tomorrow cause i have absolutely nothing to do there. nothing at all. boring boring boring.