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Ichabod!

2001-01-05 04:11:28

what i forgot to mention about the band trip: four people got sent home, all males, all saxophones. what conclusions can we draw from there?

cool song: the first time ever i saw your face

my hair is really nice today, prolly cause i havent been washing it with university water. that water is so hard, my hair never feels soft when im at school.

self doubt: part of the human condition? frailty and imperfection: part of the human condition?

cool song: the unicorn song

"It was then that Delirium noticed that she had absentmindedly transformed herself into a hundred and eleven perfect, tiny, multicolored fish. Each fish sang a different song. And as she put herself back together again, unable for the moment to remember whether the silver flecks went in the blue eye or the green one, she decided that a dog would be a nice thing to have. And then it occurred to her that there had been a dog around at some point, hadn't there? A nice doggie. And she went off to look for it, trailing occasional fish ..."

� Neil Gaiman, The Kindly Ones

im changing my AIM profile and i wanted to save the old one here. i really liked that one.

"and what are you going to be when you grow up sweet child?"

"dead"

"ah, live fast, love hard, leave a beautiful corpse."

"not really. more like live dull, and think, why bother, and leave a note saying goodbye"

"you really are a child. you know, ennui is insufficient reason to commit suicide."

_Neil Gaiman, "Death: the high cost of living."

i think ive settled on that one for now.

i started this entry hoping that the absence of events to write about would stimulate a thoughtful entry but i seem to have failed. im pretty content. i havent been this happy in a long time. its nice. and it looks like its going to last too, ive none of the circumstances that caused me to cut in years past. (ie: my dad) like last year on new years day, i was so depressed i couldnt get out of bed in the morning. plus im either around people who really love me and are my friends, or people who never knew i cut and never knew when people were afraid of me.

its so different not to have people being afraid of me all the time. jesse and dan both called me an angel today!

on new years i wore a tiara: three people called me a beautiful princess. on new years i wore a shirt with a buddha on it and the words for good luck rub my tummy: nine people rubbed my tummy. vath was the biggest fan of my shirt.

good song: children and all that jazz

light of my life, goodnight goodnight goodnight!