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Ichabod!

2000-11-10 01:41:52

so im supposed to be writing kairos letters right now, but all i want to do is sit in my room and scream. so i need to get this out before i can sit down and write letters.

first of all i feel terrible about myself because i did nothing but sleep all day today. and my only rationalization is that its a rainy lazy thursday. and i didnt get anything done while i was inside today for band because stephanie commanded me to do something fun.

and then i get back to the dorm and im all mad because brian hadnt called me back. brian was my date for the band dance. and since we had such a good time at the band dance, i wanted to ask him to PEs SYR. sarah said this was ok and shed find another date for matt. in fact, just about everyone in my section wanted me to go with brian because he just seemed like the nicest sweetest guy ever. and he is. but hes also impossible to get a hold of because hes never in his room hes always upstairs playing video games. thats one of the reasons i was in sorin last night, because i was trying to find him. then i called him today and he wasnt there. but he did end up calling around nine tonight. yay! thinks i. so i ask him and he says yes, and everything is good and fine. then we stay on the phone for about twenty minutes, and i begin to realize something. im not talking. when i first start talking to brian on the phone, hes really deceptive cause he just sounds like he has a slow voice and prolly doesnt talk much. but then he just starts talking my ear off and all i can do is laugh at the funny stories. and theyre so off the wall that when he does pause, im left with absolutely nothing to say, no funny comparable anecdotes from my experience, absolutely nothing! so when he leaves to go play video games, im left with this terrible feeling of "i just had a phone conversation and didnt say a word!" its terrible! especially since everyone on my floor has been building this up for me and telling me that i need to go with him and hes such a me kind of guy, and everything will be great and perfect. gah! this is why i shouldnt do this anymore! im just so afraid that everything will go wrong!

dont dont dont lets start this is the worst part

but he really is sweet, i mean come on, he gave me flowers, he notices little things about me like the red streaks in my hair, and he made me a necklace!

couldnt believe for all the world that you were my precious little girl

maybe he was just talking a lot because he was nervous. i know he didhen he dropped me off at my dorm friday night, prolly becuase he was tired then too. but i didnt notice that at the band dance, and at lafun last wednesday he asked me about awls and stuff. and i was nervous too, i totally forgot about everything i planned to say when i was on the phone.

but dont dont dont lets start ive got a weak heart

and i dont get around how you get around. _tmbg_dontletsstart