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 memories of what never was
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15 January 2005 14:40 ive been exhausted all day today. it was so difficult to get up, since i was still so tired from absorbing all of the drama of the evening before. working so independently in the modular building, i havent had the same kind of work environment as the other teachers at all, it seems like. and even when i was in the main building, it was oh, poor seventh grade teacher with no classroom. be nice to her. but yesterday evening it all came out, everything the other teachers have been dealing with. and i think it can be summarized best in the sentiment that this is not a mission site, as other volunteers were expecting and anticipating. while we are told that we are living in community here for spiritual reasons, its started to feel like were really just cheap labor for the school. its starting to feel a little more like exploitation, though in the lightest sense of the word. i guess the best way that i could express the atmosphere would be to tie it in to the fact that here in lumberton, my identity is solely that of �teacher,� and everywhere i go everyone knows that just by the color of my skin. but teacher here does not seem to carry the respect of somewhere else. here, im just on a revolving door, im just going to go away. in a word, i am disposable. why are we here? are we here for ourselves? for the school? for god? am i wanted here? would there be an outcry if st francis school couldnt exist any longer because of a lack of volunteers? |
