care? leave a note

Ichabod!

08 July 2004 22:24

what an absolute huge weight has been lifted from me.

the past few days, ive been really worried and anxious, and its affected my whole life. my dreams have been restless. i forget what im doing. im reading some of my favorite books and id lose my place on the page up to five times in one page. its like id developed add. i was reduced to playing solitaire on the computer, thats about all my attention span could handle, one card at a time. anything else, and i was just overwhelmed.

then tonight my mom was on the phone yet again complaining about all the problems related to me and my getting to new mexico. she makes it sound so impossibly hopeless and i was starting to believe it. so i called my sister kathy, hoping more for a way to cope with my mother than a solution to my car problems.

and all i needed was for someone to tell me that this situation is manageable. its just car insurance, its not the end of the world. and i knew that somewhere in the back of my brain, but i didnt trust it coming from myself (how do i know im not just thinking that to make myself feel better?) and i needed to hear it from someone who really knew what they were talking about. and in just a few minutes on the phone, my sister and i were discussing more than a couple possible plans of action we can take to get this worked out.

i feel SO much better now.

in other news, i released my butterflies today and my breasts are really swollen. not too surprising since my period starts next week, but a little surprising because the last few months they had not hurt at all before my period started. and usually, thats my main signal that i need to prepare for my period. so its like everythings back to normal in a very good way to say that my breasts are swollen.

unlike last summer when they were so incredibly tender for two whole weeks (and my period was a week late too) and i got so worried. they hurt so badly last summer that i couldnt wear a bra and i couldnt lay on my stomach.

yes, this is my blogspace and ill write anything i want to, thank you very much.

::sigh of relief::